A Lack of Happiness
by Potterworm
Summary: Almost six months after Rory gets hit by a deer and loses it in class, she drops out of Chilton. In the kitchen at Friday night dinner, Lorelai and Emily have it out.


**Disclaimer: **Lorelai, Rory, Emily, and all other recognizable _Gilmore Girls_ characters belong to Amy Sherman-Palladino, Dorothy Parker Drank Here Productions, and the WB. No infringement is intended.

**Summary: **Almost six months after Rory gets hit by a deer and loses it in class, she drops out of Chilton. In the kitchen at Friday night dinner, Lorelai and Emily have it out.

**Beta: **Schuyler Lola looked it over for me as a beta, but couldn't find any errors. How cool is that?

**(A Lack of) Happiness **

"_No, I want you to be 'dancing through the woods crazy' happy. And if Chilton and Harvard is not gonna do that for you, then forget about them."_

-Lorelai

"Lorelai, for you to destroy that young girl's life like this simply because you dislike having dinner with your family once a week is a new low, even for you!" Emily's voice is high with outrage.

Lorelai swings around from her position at the sink, drops a sudsy dish, listens to it clunk, and visibly shakes away the sense of déjà vu. In this house, she knows, things will never change. "Rory is in the other room right now, Mother. Do not ruin our 'family dinner' with this. I told you a week ago that she was dropping out!"

"I assumed, Lorelai, that it was another one of your bits. The idea that your granddaughter is dropping out of Chilton is not something you spring on someone when they tell you they're running late for their D.A.R. meeting, and I assumed that you knew that!"

"You know what they say when you assume," Lorelai mutters under her breath. Then: "Mother, I'm sorry that you didn't believe me when I informed you, but I _did _inform you. You're acting as though I just dropped the news on you today!"

"You might as well have," Emily says.

Her lips had tightened and her nostrils flared when Rory had mentioned in passing that she had been surprised by the amount of junk she had to clear out of her locker. Emily had asked if she was getting a better locker in one of the other hallways.

Rory had looked confused and turned to her mother. "You said you told them." Her voice almost sounded accusatory.

Five minutes and some ugly comments about Lorelai's parenting skills later, they were in the kitchen.

"To ruin Rory's future like this is completely unacceptable and quite frankly, beneath you, Lorelai-"

"Mom."

"I always knew there was a chance that you'd harbor resentment towards Rory for her academic success, when you so clearly failed in that area, but to so completely impinge upon her future, I'm just surprised that you apparently lack so much consideration for your daughter. Apparently you hold even deeper resentments because of your own life-"

"Mom!"

"But I will not allow it. You will not forbid her from attending Chilton next semester, Lorelai, not if I have anything to say about it. To crush that girl's dreams like this, honestly, I'm-"

"MOM!" Lorelai says, and Emily huffs with indignation, then finally stops speaking. Lorelai is tense with anger, her shoulders stiff and her lips tight. "Rory wants to drop out."

"Honestly, Lorelai, you know that simply isn't-"

Lorelai's voice is low and quiet, but she knows Rory can probably still hear every word, so she watches them closely. "She's not happy at Chilton, Mom. Her grades aren't what they should be, and the work - the work is too hard. It's every night, Mom. Five, six hours of studying, just for her to keep up, and then the teachers still say it's not enough."

"Lorelai, girls change their mind all the time. Rory is a teenager and to take her out of a good school simply because it's 'too hard' is ridiculous. I'm sure after she adjusts, it will get better," Emily says, and it's as though she has not heard a word Lorelai has uttered.

"Mom, listen to me, please. It's been over _six _months," Lorelai says, her voice low. "She's not _Rory _anymore. She's not happy, not at all. And it's not just the grades, it's the horrible kids at that school. She has _no _friends there. They treat her like trash." A deep breath, and Lorelai continues, "I told her months ago that she could drop out if she wanted to, and she spent almost half a year trying to adjust, and it's never enough."

"Lorelai."

"No, don't Lorelai me," she says, sick at the way her mother's voice says she will not understand; she will _never _understand. "She's better off at Stars Hollow High, at a school where she can learn and get good grades, and have friends!"

"An Ivy League school will not-"

"Maybe they will and maybe they won't!" Lorelai interrupts. "But she's not happy at Chilton, Mom. Even if Stars Hollow High doesn't get her into Harvard, at least she'll be happy!"

Emily is wearing the same look she wore when Lorelai told her she wasn't marrying Christopher, an "I can't believe you're going to ruin your life like this" look of complete and utter disgust.

"And that doesn't matter to you, does it, Mom? That Rory is miserable at Chilton, that she cried herself to sleep every night for a _month _before she finally told me she couldn't do it anymore! That she was so grateful when I told her that it was okay, that I wasn't angry, that I'm sure _everyone _will understand! That will _never _matter enough to you to make up for the fact that Rory has apparently let you down!" Lorelai's voice seems to echo off the walls.

After a moment, Emily haughtily says, "Lorelai, I will not be spoken to like this. Clearly, you are hysterical and not thinking clearly. Your father and I will speak to Rory, and I'm sure we can clear this mess up."

"You will _not_. This decision has nothing to do with you, and it's already been made!"

"As a contributor to Rory's education, I have every right to-" Emily says, sounding snooty.

Lorelai puts her in her place, as she says, "That's the thing, Mom! You're not anymore! No more tuition, no more blackmail, no more Friday nights of you telling me that I'm a terrible mother for considering my daughter's happiness!"

"I will not be spoke to like this!" Emily says, just as the door to the kitchen swings open. Behind her, Richard approaches.

"What is going on in here, Emily? We can hear you from the dining room," he says, avoiding looking at his daughter. He clearly already knows the answer to his question, Lorelai notes.

"Lorelai was just telling me about how she's decided that the work is too hard for Rory to continue at Chilton," Emily says.

"Please, for once in your life, hear me! That place is killing her, and, God, I'm sorry, but I'm not a fan of the whole zombie daughter thing, so clearly something needs to change! And if you can't be happy with that, then I'm sorry, but it's not your choice." Lorelai heads towards the door to the kitchen, but Richard steps in her way.

"Lorelai," he says, and as he does, Emily stalks towards the door herself. He steps aside to let her pass.

"This is a mistake, Lorelai, and you will regret it," she says, and then she is gone.

"Just give your mother some time. It's quite a shock," Richard says as though Emily hadn't just fled the room. To him, it is even more of a shock, as he's only heard half of the explanations. "Rory's happiness _is _very important to us," he adds then, inadvertently telling Lorelai that he overheard a fair amount of the yelling match.

Lorelai looks at him after his quiet statement. She knows that he means it, that he wants Rory to be happy, and, for a moment, she's incredibly grateful for that. But if there's one thing she learned growing up in this house, it's that happiness, no matter how important it is to her parents, always has strings attached.

Rory isn't happy at Chilton, and Lorelai knows that. It _kills _Lorelai to realize that the dream she's been preparing her daughter for may really just be a flicker of a wish of a dream, and she knows it probably kills her parents too. But for them, toughing it out is too important. Social appearances and Ivy League, and _their _world will always be more important than Rory smiling when she walks in the front door after a day at school.

Lorelai silently pushes past her father, enters the dining room, hugs her teary eyed daughter who is sitting in the empty dining room, staring at a plate of cold food, and leads her to the car.

Lorelai's so angry, but she realizes on the drive home, that she's worried too. She only hopes that her mother isn't right. That dropping out of Chilton really will make Rory happy. That all this anger and depression and worry will seep out of their house and go back to where it came from.

They could both use some happiness now.


End file.
